Healthy

My last three or so blogs have been a way for me to vent, and I've noticed that I feel a lot better after having done so. My wife doesn't really like or need to hear about everything that goes on at work or in the law enforcement community. Blogging gives me an out (that every LEO needs) so she doesn't have to put up with it. I don't think that I will "get over" the incident in Oakland, but being able to express my feelings has helped me to cope with it. I wasn't able to attend the funeral due to the possiblity of my wife going into labor at any time, but I was fortunate enough to be able to view it on T.V. It was very emotional just watching it on T.V., and I can only imagine what it was like to be there in person. I was able to pay my respects to the officers in my own way, and I know that there are four more angels in heaven looking down and still doing what they love, protecting us.

It seems that the only things that I have been able to write about lately have been painful things. Here is another one. :( I was notified today that a good friend of mine had committed suicide. Probably the last guy I would have thought of to do such a thing, but after reflecting, I can see how it might have come to be. He was a mortician/ funeral director/ embalmer. There is no way to imagine the unthinkable things he must have seen in his 15 years in the profession. It must have just gotten to him to the point he couldn't take it any more. I know that he had taken a "leave" from the funeral home for a while about 5 years ago. He went back though and I thought everything was o.k. I guess not. He was the type of guy that would give you the shirt off of his back. Always had a smile on his face, and a kind word to say. Nobody knew that he was suffering inside. There are a few professions that require people to face things on a daily basis that most people wouldn't think of doing. His was one of them. It is very easy to get caught up in your job to the point that it becomes who you are and not what you do. When someone asks me what I do for a living, I say I work as a guard. Not I'm a Correctional Officer. I'm a father and husband before anything else. When I leave the prison, I try to leave work at work. I have to maintain a level of alertness at all times due to the nature of my job, but when I'm at HOME, I try to make work the furthest thing from mind. It's tough to do. Especially when you are working on an investigation or something of that nature. With that said, Clark, I will miss you, and I'm sorry for the pain that you must have been feeling to drive you to your decision.


Saint Michael the Archangel,

Defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -by the Divine Power of God -cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen.